Blessed

I don't know if I have made this clear yet, but the Lord has led me to one of the greatest blessings in my life. When I needed it the most, when I listened to the Lord, he led me to one the sweetest people I know. Someone whom blesses my life everyday she is part of it. I do not know my heavenly fathers goals, whether she is here to bless me for a short while or a lifetime, but I am thankful. She is my sweetheart. I try every day to make sure she knows that she is a blessing in my life. I try to give thanks and lay my relationship with her at the Lords feet, and ask him to lead me where he desires.

But most of all, I am trying (not very successfully) not to worry about it, to allow the Lord to take care of it. But relationships are one of my greatest worries areas. Dating is probably the hardest area for me because I am scared to death of loss and terrified of rejection. I tend to second guess my every action and worry about everything. My friends tell me to relax and just be myself and be honest and everything will work out for the best.

Honesty is one thing I am working very hard at doing. I hid too much about who I am in the past when I was married. Never again. The person who spends the rest of life with me will get me, and not the part of me that is acceptable to them. They will get brutal honesty, they will get my soul laid bare, and probably more then they need to know about me.

I strive to ensure that I learn from the mistakes in my past, to make me a better person for today.

"May the Lord lead us to the life he has prepared for us. May our relationship be a beacon of the Lords love to all that witness it. That is my prayer."