Tuesday, October 16, 2007


We are on the last legs of this wedding journey. We are trying to get a photographer lined up, working on getting our bank stuff consolidated, a budget lined up, and plans for my sons birthday. We still need to find time to run out and get our Marriage license, print out all of our plane, hotel, condo, and car reservation papers.

Time is slowly ticking down and we are getting more and more excited to see the date come and go. The time spent alone in Florida will be a welcome relief.

Getting the bulging disk in my back corrected is getting more and more expensive as the week progress. I have a feeling my MRI is going to be one of those items you have to apply your deductible to, in which case I will footing the entire bill. I just paid for 12 treatments that are not covered by insurance, in order to hasten the pace of my recovery. 3 copays a week are adding up too…

Having to deal with my back was not in our budget plans for getting out of debt after the wedding, nor was my limited movement and capacity to do things factored in when we planned everything. I know my back pains and mobility are a source of disappointment for my fiancĂ©, as we struggle to do things, and miss something’s just because I cannot do them. I am working extra hard to ensure that I will be able to stand the entire wedding and that I will be able to dance at the reception, and be able to function the week afterwards. My doc is pretty positive, that with aggressive work and consistency on my part with my exercises (which is hard to achieve when your day is taken up by a job).

And that leads me to my weight. I have gone up again, and I am finding it hard to wear even new clothes I bought. Some of it is the water gain and bloating caused by the steroid I was on as an anti-inflammatory for my back. The rest of it are my diet and exercise. We have plans after the wedding to join a gym and do a lot of swimming, watch what we eat, and generally try to slim down (we have both gained weight since we have started to date... dang regular eating!)

Oh well, back to that work thing.


Thursday, October 11, 2007

Messed Up

I am seeing a chiropractor/physical therapist/physio therapist about my back. Drugs were not doing me any good. My doc thinks that I have a bulging disk, and this disk is irritating nerves which is causing my muscles to react which is causing me to be bent out of shape.

I go in tonight for a MRI, and I am hoping that he sees what he thinks he will so, because bulging disks can generally be taken care of non-surgically. He is working with me to get me up and able to enjoy myself on my honeymoon and hopes to have me cured by JAN 1 or so.

I will post more as I learn more.


Thursday, September 27, 2007

Busy... SUCK...

so my life is fairly busy these days with the wedding fast approaching. Wedding invites are sealed and stamped, email invites have been sent, honeymoon paid for, and almost everything else is arranged. The big thing this week is trying to pack up my fiance and move her in, so we don't have to deal with it in an even busier Oct.

I am so happy to be able to see a very close online friend in person for the first time, as he is coming to my wedding.

Plans to go to Germany in the spring are solid, with is a breath of fresh air.

my back is still killing me. I need to find some time to make an appointment and make sure there is nothing medically wrong with me and it is just weak muscles and fat belly causing me grief.

Thats all i have for now.

Monday, September 17, 2007


I have run old friends all this week online, and I am trying to keep in touch with them. I hope some of them are able to make it down for the wedding.

Wedding plans on my end are going well. On her end, she has more to do then time to do it she says. I try to help out when and with what I can.

Well, short and sweet, i am back to work.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Long Time No See

It has been a little bit since I last posted. Life has been proceeding fairly well. Job is ok as ever, car needs new brakes, but works none the less.

I proposed to my girlfriend on June 29th, and we are getting married Nov 3rd. Hopefully my father will be able to do the ceremony, we shall see how that all shakes out. We are planning on visiting sunny Florida for our Honeymoon (78deg air temp, 80deg water temp).

Well, I should get back to work. I will post more later.

Monday, May 14, 2007


I went sailing this weekend with my sweetheart. It was a blast! Her little boat is fun to run around on and learn off of. I did a fair amount of the "driving" and I think I was doing quite good for my first time out.

it was good to get another use out of my sailing gear. 2 times on the water, and its looking like alot more sundays filled with water are in my future.


Sunday, April 29, 2007


You know who you are. She is real. :P *phbttt*

Monday, April 9, 2007


Easter has come and gone. Another joyous weekend with my sweetheart. I suppose I should give her a name, a moniker to refer to her with, other then sweetheart. ArEsEm is the moniker I shall use for her.

Easter was another exceptional weekend. ArEsEm went with me to pick up my children, and we took them to McD's and to Walmart so they could get their mother and brother something for easter.

We then took them back to my apartment and tucked them into bed. After they were in bed, we cleaned up my kitchen a little bit, as ArEsEm was going to cook us french toast in the morning. We then laid out the stuff we had got them for easter, the beautiful easter baskets she had put together along with the couple things I had picked up.

The next day, we watched them open their gifts and ArEsEm and KayEeDee (my daughter) made french toast. my son, AaEsDee, did not like the french toast, even though he ate the majority of it before he decided his tummy was hungry for cereal. That boy is a picky eater.

We then had them get dressed and took them to ArEsEm's grandma's house for egg hiding. It was a bit too cold to really enjoy it, so it tried not to hide them really well, just kind of scattered them around. Even so, the kids still managed to walk by a few of them sitting out in the open. Kids are fun.

Based on feedback from their mother, we decided that KFC would suit them for their easter lunch, as we wanted to do a picnic, but the weather would not permit it. Again.. my son is pain in the arse to feed. Not sure what i am going to do with that boy.

The rest of the day went smooth. the kids napped, and i ended up napping in the arms of ArEsEm while she watched The Sound Of Music. I woke up the kids crawling on me, as they were done with their nap, so we watched The Wizard Of Oz, in which ArEsEm did some napping and I stayed awake.

The kids are really taking a liking to ArEsEm. KayEeDee crawled up into her arms and snuggled in to watch the movie. AaEsDee did the same when i had to get up to go to the bathroom. I came back to my kids snuggled around her, and it filled me with joy. Though my spot was taken, I was still happy.

On Sunday, ArEsEm and I went to her church for easter services, and then we tried to get out and do something, but everything seemed to be closed, so instead we stayed at her apartment, played a shortened version of the game called TABOO. She then cooked me a wonderful supper that we ate with candlelight. then it was off to rent a couple movies, get desert from sonic, and snuggle down to watch what we rented.

I also got to meet her brother on Sunday. A friendly gentlemen, even though i only got to shake hands with him, as he was late for an evening with his girlfriend. Hopefully i shall get to visit with him more later. ArEsEm says we have allot in common and would get along well.

Well that is probably enough for now. I hope everyone that reads this had a most wonderful easter!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Better then your average bear

What a wonderful weekend. The weather cooperated, the kids were healthier, and I got to spend time with my sweetheart. The kids love her to death. We all had a wonderful time at the park, and while I stayed home with my son (he needed a nap) she took my daughter to the store and did some shopping with her.

Then saturday, we went dancing and stayed up too late afterwards watching The Phantom of the Opera. We did not make it all the way through, she kept falling asleep sitting with me on the couch. So at a point, i just turned it off, said my good bye and went home to crash myself.

It was a wonderful weekend. I sure hope there will be many many more like it.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

H E Double Hockey Sticks Week

This week has been horrible. I come down with a cold on Saturday afternoon. Everyday it gets worse. Yesterday was horrible. My eyes, nose, and mouth constantly burned, my whole body ached, I was either cold or hot, i had no energy, and devoured a large box of Kleenex.
Last night, my fever broke and I'm feeling a bit better today. I still am tired and worn out, my nose still feels warm, but i think the worst is over. I am taking today off, my fourth vacation day taken since Friday (good thing I had a few spare). Hopefully I will be able to get to work tomorrow, I'm going stir crazy.

My sweetheart is not faring to much better. She is having trouble keeping warm, and her head is clogged up so bad, it is making it hard for her to think. Unfortunately she has to go to work today, or she has to get a doctors note.

ugh.. what a week so far.

I ended up going in for a half day. Kept me from going stir crazy, but man it was a long 4 hours of work. hard to keep my mind in the work.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Disney On Ice

My daughters birthday was a success. She totally enjoyed the show and seemed to have a blast. My son on the other hand, spend most the weekend with high fever and sluggish. neither of them ate well at all. It was the second time they got to meet my girlfriend, and they seem to like her. She handled the kids very well, and they both seemed to listen to her and to talk to her. My daughter treated her like a best friend, they did alot together. My little one even did some swimming with her and did a wonderful job.

I think I got my sons cold. I started to feel sick on saturday. I think only the kids got alot of sleep. Both of them coughed and hacked and snored thier way through both nights. There was a wedding party on the floor and they decided to talk to 1 am sat night and the adults had trouble sleeping with all noises. ddnt help that by sat night, all of us had the rough dry cough. was like a chorus of coughs.

but all in all, my sweetheart and I both agreed that it was a wonderful weekend.

and thats all i have for today.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

I need to move

I get home tonight to find that my door has been kicked to death. Whoever did it, was unable to break it down, but the outside of my door is busted, my door jam is shattered, and I had to crawl in a window i found unlocked to get into my own apartment. I am debating sleeping here tonight, as i know the door will not withstand another such attempt. Nothing is missing, but i am still unsettled by the whole matter.

Sunday, March 11, 2007


I have never been a real jealous person. I was used to my X having more gentlemen friends then female friends. It was something I knew, and it did not bother me. But ever since she left me for the neighbor, I have been filled with jealous rage. It scare me. I am not a wrathful nor jealous person, and how quickly and strongly I can get angry because of jealousy these days bother me.

My sweetheart loves to dance and there are few men in the church group that dances that can keep up with her, and she loves to dance the faster dances with them. She also has a kind and gentle heart and will pass up dancing with me to ensure that those that don't have a dance partner get a chance to dance. I love this nature about her, but what I don't like are the occasional pangs of jealousy I feel. They are never very big and I soon squash them, but they should not be there. No one she dances with is in competition with me for her attention, everyone is a long time friend in a close knit circle of friends. I know this, I understand this, I don't understand why Im feeling jealousy towards them.

She did thank me last night for letting her dance a few dances with the others, and would usually let me know that she was going to dance with whom, and whether it was to give them a chance to dance or a song came on that they could dance the heck out of. She is a very wonderful person, and thoughtful beyond measure. When she thanked me for letting her dance with the others, I told her it was no problem and it was good for me. She asked me why, and I told her that I never was a jealous person, my x was a tomboy and had more guy friends then female friends and it never bothered me. until she left me for one and ended up pregnant. And that now I am jealous, but i have no reason to be with her and her circle of dance friends.

I am hoping that I got across the point I was trying to make to her, that sometimes i did feel jealous last night, and that i had no right, and she can tell that i may be acting that way to tell me that i am silly. or cute.. cute works too.

So, some of her friends are going to die. Seems that at the wedding, while we were waiting to disperse and go eat before dancing, we kissed. Her friends saw, and gave her a hard time about it in a good natured joking manner that all good friends have. It embarrassed her completely, and she had a hard time, i think, enjoying the majority of the slow dances because she was waiting for the next person to give her a hard time for being with me. It was different for me of course, as I don't know them that well yet, and their banter wouldnt bother me at all anyway. When i am dancing or i am out with her, my full attn is focused. I noticed, as i am sure a few others did that were watching from the sidelines, that when we danced, i never took my eyes off of her. I was dancing for her, with her, because of her. I just hope that she doesn't get any grief for it.

well, i have probably said enough. i should get around and get ready for a friends child's first birthday party/open house get together. I still need to eat and go get a card for the little one.

"May the lord bless you and keep you close to his heart. May he reach out and strengthen the bonds of relationship between you and yours. May he show through you the love that is in him for all people"

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Live Love Life

Life is cruising along at the speed of love these days. This week I have spent only the time needed to sleep and shower at home. My Sweetheart as was sick Tuesday night, Wednesday and Thursday, so I made sure to go over and keep her company when I got off of work every day. I had two events at church that kept me busy from 7-8:30 on Tuesday and Thursday.

We were going to go bowling last night, but Friday night is not a good night to go bowling. So we went ice skating instead as this bowling alley has an ice skating rink. Skating was fun, but the cold air got to my lungs and the skate killed our collective feet.

So after about 4 rings around the rink, we called it quits and headed out. We drove past where I work, she took me out past her parents house, and a couple other places from her childhood. It was nice.

Every day I spend with my sweetheart, my heart grows fonder for her, and I become more and more in love with her as that love matures from a simple (wow im dating again!) to something deep and special. She has a wonderful sense of humor, and like me, can break down into spontaneous bits of humor and fun at any time. (we had a sword fight with our straws in Olive Garden last night.. it was wonderful)

A bit of news for those of you not in the know.
My daughter turns 6 Sunday. I am taking her to see Disney Princess Wishes on Ice in St. Louis the weekend after that. It should be a fun weekend for me, as both my wonderful children are going, as is my Sweetheart. My extended family in St. Louis is helping me out by getting my daughter a cake for her birthday (so I don't have to travel with one).

My Brother is leaving his family. I think. Maybe. He is moving to Omaha Neb alone. He will be staying and paying rent with a friend up there, and his wife and 3 kids will be moving in with their dad in Wichita. I guess the plan is try out this separation thing for a couple months and if they like it, I am not sure. He did not say there were in marital trouble, just that not living together was cheaper and better for everyone (financially). I don't know about him.

Well thats all I have to say about that.

Monday, March 5, 2007


I don't know if I have made this clear yet, but the Lord has led me to one of the greatest blessings in my life. When I needed it the most, when I listened to the Lord, he led me to one the sweetest people I know. Someone whom blesses my life everyday she is part of it. I do not know my heavenly fathers goals, whether she is here to bless me for a short while or a lifetime, but I am thankful. She is my sweetheart. I try every day to make sure she knows that she is a blessing in my life. I try to give thanks and lay my relationship with her at the Lords feet, and ask him to lead me where he desires.

But most of all, I am trying (not very successfully) not to worry about it, to allow the Lord to take care of it. But relationships are one of my greatest worries areas. Dating is probably the hardest area for me because I am scared to death of loss and terrified of rejection. I tend to second guess my every action and worry about everything. My friends tell me to relax and just be myself and be honest and everything will work out for the best.

Honesty is one thing I am working very hard at doing. I hid too much about who I am in the past when I was married. Never again. The person who spends the rest of life with me will get me, and not the part of me that is acceptable to them. They will get brutal honesty, they will get my soul laid bare, and probably more then they need to know about me.

I strive to ensure that I learn from the mistakes in my past, to make me a better person for today.

"May the Lord lead us to the life he has prepared for us. May our relationship be a beacon of the Lords love to all that witness it. That is my prayer."

Worry Wart

What is it about me that causes me to worry myself sick about some things? What is it about me that causes me to pour too much of myself into something? Why can't I just give those things I fear the most, that I am the least prepared to handle, that causes me much worry and stress up into Gods hands without continuing to worry about them?

I worry intensely about things that are not in my control, I tend to imagine the future and then imagine it crumbling down around my ears, when in fact, I would have little to no control over its crumbling in the first place.

This worry causes me to feel down and upset to my stomach and just miserable. I shouldn't be this way, if I trust god to take care of everything and lead me along the path he would like to see me travel.

I am a firm believer in the old saying "God will not deliver unto me any trials that I can not handle with his help" And it has proven true time and time again, but each time still causes me distress as I struggle with the lesson to be learned. For i believe that each event is a lesson for me, and i must not be getting the point, because they keep happening. I feel like a mini Job sometimes.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

You gotta jump, jive, and then you wail!

Went Swing dancing last night. I had an absolutely wonderful time. Not the easiest thing for me to learn, as it requires the feet to actually move in a coordinated fashion, but I was told I improved and did very well for my first time out. The Dave Stephens Band was good, Dave does a pretty good show.

My date looked absolutely amazing that night. I danced as many of the swings as i could, and on the faster ones, she danced with friends of hers that could keep up the hectic pace of some songs. I spent those songs watching the young adults that were there, and were professional dancers, do their thing.. Amazing.

Can't wait to go again.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

All is well ...

My life is still on cloud nine. My co-workers, i think, are getting tired of listen to me. My boss asked today how I met my wonderful lady. Mistake.. I must have talked a good 5-10 minutes straight, and he said my face was just beaming the whole time.

And I give all my good fortune this week to the glory of God and the power of prayer. When you listen to him, and turn to him, and follow him he will bring blessings and bounty unto you. Its not that I forget this, or that I don't remember, but sometimes I get bogged down in all my junk and self pity/loathing that I forget to look up and bathe in the glory of God and his purpose for me.

Why do we think we know best? We know so little about what lies ahead of us. We place faith in false ideals, strive for what we think we want and if we would only listen and follow, God gives to us what we need the most and what we need is never what we think, but when it comes your way, you know it.

My favorite song to listen to this week: I saw the light. Has so much meaning for me, both spiritually and physically.

Monday, February 26, 2007


Children grow up entirely too fast. My daughter, ever infatuated with weddings, told me that she is going to marry Tony, a boy in her kindergarten class. And later told me that she cant break up with Tony because he would be mad.

She has also said that when two people get married, they have to go to the hospital so they can cut open the mommies tummy and take out the baby.

She is in kindergarten! She is entirely to young to be having that kind of thought processes, too young to know about those things. I am entirely unprepared for her talking about these things already. I was hoping I would have until her late 20's to worry about it, but it seems that is not to be. Man i hope this is just a phase and she continues to be a kid and not grow up to fast.

Movie Time

I had a wonderful weekend. I got to spend time with my children, and as always it was magical. After I dropped my children off, my new lady friend and I went shopping for my daughters birthday. We found a nice jacket and hat at the Disney store that I could not resist. We then walked around a bit and then decided to go to a movie. We saw ghost rider, and it was a decent movie, but the best part the company. We then went out for dinner, where we talked. It is pretty obvious how much into each we are, or so i could tell by our waitress expressions. She seemed happy to see us so happy. We then retired to her place to watch a movie. Serendipity is a good movie. My date has a very nice apartment and it is decorated with a Nautical theme. I loved some of the models and things she has there.

I cant wait to see her again. I am smitten :D

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Winter Jam

I am planning on going to Winter Jam in Wichitawith my parents and some youth from their church. My parents have told me that I can invite friends that may want to come along, as rooms will be provided.

I am looking forward to getting to go, and hopefully I will be able to take some of my friends with me.

"Lean on me, when your not strong"

I had the most amazing evening.
For those of you that don't know, I have decided that I need to get out more. I need to recenter my life around Christ. I want to develop new friendships, and maybe, just maybe find wonderful women with whom i do stuff with. My life is lacking for female interaction, and things are more enjoyable when you can do them with a friend.

I decided to attend the Singles Ministry at a church that is between my home and work. My first night there I was made feel welcome by a lovely lady who went above and beyond my expectations to make me feel included and part of a group. I had a wonderful evening that night with the bible study and with the gathering afterwards at a local restaurant.

She also made sure that I was invited to the the Friday night Singles dance that was going to be at Back2Life that night.

We chatted off and on through out the week, and we both were looking forward to going and getting to see each other. She made me promise to save her one dance. She got all of them. I had an absolutely wonderful evening of dancing and talking with her. We were the last of the group to leave and went to an IHOP that is near the area where we live. We ended up eating, talking, and laughing until well after 2 am.

I am completely enamored by her I must say. I understand that I have the propensity to make more of attention then is there sometimes, but I am really hopeful that this is just the start of a blossoming friendship.

- ArJayDee

Personality Test Results

# white: 49%
# yellow: 29%
# blue: 13%
# red: 8%

Congratulations, you are a WHITE personality. The Core Motivation that guides you through life is "Peace." This is not referring to a political agenda or the absence of war. It is, however, an absence of inner conflict, much closer to the idea of serenity, and an acceptance of oneself and others. You have a strong and compelling need to keep things in balance in your life so as to maintain an internal feeling of tranquility and comfort.

As a WHITE, you seek independence and require kindness, especially from those with whom you are in a relationship. You resist confrontation at all costs. (To you, feeling good internally is even more important than being good.) You are quiet by nature, process things very deeply and objectively with great clarity. Of all the colors, WHITES are the best listeners. You respect people who are direct but recoil from perceived hostility or verbal battle.

You need your "alone time" and refuse to be controlled by others. WHITES want to do things their own way and in their own time. They ask little of others and resent others demanding much of them. You are probably much stronger than people think, but are not often seen for your strength because you don't easily reveal your feelings.

Your personality type is driven by only ONE of four Core Motives, represented by the colors:

* RED (Core Motive = Power, or the ability to move from "a" to "b" as efficiently as possible)
* BLUE (Core Motive = Intimacy, this doesn't mean sex, but the need to connect, share feelings, and build relationships with others)
* WHITE (Core Motive = Peace, or calm even in the midst of conflict; clarity in the midst of confusion)
* YELLOW (Core Motive = Fun, or always enjoying the moment)

Why You're Hot

You Are A Superb Listener

Have you ever heard your friends complaining about how their (boyfriends / girlfriends) don't listen to them, not understanding how this could be? It's because you listen so naturally. This is such a turn-on, because your partner will feel your interest in them and know that you hear even what they are not saying.

You Make Others Feel Comfortabl
You have a way of putting people at ease. You don't try to intimidate or make things too formal. In fact, you prefer creating a very relaxed and open atmosphere, which works to your advantage, because the (men/women) in your life like to know that you are accessible and approachable, and that they don't have to put on a big show to be with you. In fact, they know that they can be more real with you, because of your accepting nature.

Why You're Not

You Tend To Be Too Accommodating

As a WHITE, you have the tendency to accommodate what others want instead of having to tell them "no". Consequently, you tend to get overloaded with what other people expect of you and soon you can become overwhelmed or end up doing things that you do not enjoy. What happens is that you allow others to take control of the direction of your life instead of you driving towards the life that you and your partner desire.

Your Dislike Of Conflict Blocks Honest Conversation
WHITES do NOT enjoy conflict in the least. It is the opposite of what you crave through your Core Motive of Peace. Rather than get into an argument with your partner, for example, you would rather pretend that every thing's okay, or you would rather lie in a conversation rather than tell her what you really think and risk the potential resulting conflict. So you don't say anything, until it bugs you so much that a month later it comes out. Let's be clear... dishonesty is not attractive especially when a severe case of "lack-of-backbone-itis," lies at the heart of it, so don't go there.

Your Needs
Now that you know how others see you as a potential partner, you should also know that there are certain things that you subconsciously need from your relationships in order to feel fulfilled and happy. These are your very own little hot buttons. When you find a partner who can push them for you, you may just fall head over heels.

You Need To Feel Good Inside
As a WHITE, feeling good and comfortable on the inside is more important to you than being good or doing the right thing, so you should look for a partner who does two things for you. One, they should not create unnecessary conflict or confrontation, and two, they need to be able to help you become comfortable confronting the necessary issues and not allow you an escape route through dishonesty.

You Need To Be Allowed Your Own Space
You enjoy being with people, but you do not need constant social interaction by any stretch of the imagination. You like your alone time which allows you to process thoughts and to daydream. You should find a partner who is able to allow you to have your release time.

You Want To Withhold Your Insecurities
You feel insecure about your various inadequacies, and feel embarrassed and confused about what to do when such things are exposed. Therefore, it is your tendency to guard those feelings of insecurity and inadequacy very tightly even from your significant other. This is not always appropriate nor does it facilitate growth, so you should find someone with whom you are able to open your heart and be vulnerable to.

You Want Kindness From Your Partner
WHITES are the nicest, kindest people in world. You don't like conflict, and usually see it as being unnecessary when it manifests itself. You don't like mean people and what they stand for. Therefore, you need a partner who is kind to you and doesn't create turmoil and unneeded stress in your life.

Top 5 WHITE Turn-Ons:
1. Accepting (and supporting) their individuality
2. Being kind
3. Creating an informal, relaxed atmosphere
4. Being patient and gentle
5. Introducing options and ideas for your interactions

Top 5 WHITE Turn-Offs:
1. Forcing confrontation
2. Being cruel or insensitive
3. Being domineering or too intense
4. Forcing immediate verbal expression
5. Demanding leadership

And since I am High on the Yellow..

Top 5 YELLOW Turn-Ons:
1. Being flirtatious
2. Offering praise and adoration
3. Reinforcing interest with physical contact
4. Promoting creative and fun activities with them
5. Accepting some playful teasing, joking, "comic relief"

Top 5 YELLOW Turn-Offs:
1. Ignoring them
2. Controlling their schedules / Consuming their time
3. Being too serious or sober in criticism
4. Being unforgiving
5. Expecting them to dwell on problems